No doubt you’ve seen the posts circulating around Facebook reminding us that too many people experience grief at Christmas, and for many people the Christmas season is a time of loneliness, heartbreak and sadness so we should share the post in honour of those people.
I agree. But I’m not sharing.
Long before I started seeing these posts, I began thinking about those in our community for whom this time of year serves as a magnifying glass upon all of their stress and heart ache. I began to remember the financial stress that we’ve gone through and the mounting pressure and fear that comes with the extra expenses minus the extra income. As hard as that has been, nothing comes close to the memory of that first Christmas without my dad, just two months after his passing.
As difficult as those Christmases have been for me, I know that for many it’s so much worse. At this time of year the rates of suicide and domestic violence rise dramatically, as does the rate of homelessness as the financial pressures of Christmas take a toll. And then there’s the children. Whether it’s shattered dreams of being a parent, the loss of a child, or a child losing their parent – there’s something about children that magnifies the grief during the Christmas Season.
It’s understandable that so many don’t look forward to Christmas.
And this, in itself, is the saddest part of all. It’s also the reason why I won’t share. Not because I don’t care, but because I care too much and if I allow myself to go down that path then I will be perpetuating the lie that Christmas has become.
The lie that says that Christmas is about family and tradition and good times and gifts.
Christmas is not about any of these things. We’ve made it about these things but in doing so we’ve created pressure and heartache because as long as we have mortal life we will have death and as long as we have humans who are not perfect we will continue to hurt one another, whether we mean to or not, and we will continue to struggle to live up to the World’s ideal of what it means to have Joy and Peace.
I know that for so many, Jesus doesn’t even enter into the equation when we think of Christmas. My husband asked his class of year three students this year about the meaning of Christmas and out of 25, only one mentioned Jesus. None of the rest had even heard His name, outside of a swear word.
Too many have either turned their back on what Christmas means or they simply don’t know. As for turning their back, I can’t say I’d blame them, if you just look at the surface. Too many atrocities have been committed in the name of Jesus which is both tragic and ironic, because a cursory look at the historical text around Jesus’ life on Earth will show that He was not about violence at all. I’m ashamed to say He never behaved in the way that many of His followers do, myself included.
The thing is, Christmas is a Christian celebration, whether you believe in Jesus or not. The word itself means “a celebration for Christ”. Of course it’s not Jesus’ actual birthday, most Christians know that. The date isn’t important. What’s important is WHY He was born. Why did He choose to take on human form and enter the world in this way?
You see, somewhere along the line we’ve forgotten about the WHY and we’ve focused on the WHAT. Getting together with family, food, sharing gifts, more food, traditions, and even more food. There’s nothing wrong with any of these things, they are all good things. But in and of themselves they don’t bring us Hope. They don’t bring us closer to a relationship with the Creator and they don’t give us Life.
That all comes from the WHY. Jesus came to give us Hope, to bring us into a relationship with the Creator and to give us Life. In this life and beyond.
The Creator became the creation in order to show us that He identifies with us. He gets it!
There’s nothing wrong with feeling heartache and pain. On the contrary, it’s a sign of spiritual health. You feel pain about your relationship because you know it’s meant to be better. You feel pain about your loss because you love. You feel pain about the way you’ve been treated because deep down, your soul knows its worth. You feel heartache because your heart knows that this isn’t the way life is supposed to be. You were created for so much more.
But if you can keep sight of the WHY through all of that, then you will understand Peace. This is the Peace that comes when you realise that it’s not the end yet, this isn’t it, there’s more to come.
No matter where you find yourself this Christmas, may your heart know His Peace and Hope.
About the Author
SARINA ELDER
Sarina is a Writer with a passion for Making A Difference (MAD).
As a first generation Australian who struggled with cultural identity as a child, Sarina understands the importance of Being, Belonging, and Becoming as a fundamental need in all of us, regardless of age.
As a misunderstood Creative, who was diagnosed with ADHD in her adult years, Sarina is particularly passionate about supporting others to identify and release their Creative, or the Creative in their children, and to embrace the Neurodiversity that accompanies Creativity.
Sarina believes the best way to embrace ourselves is through laughter, and is open to sharing her own stories with the hope of encouraging others.
This is a powerful piece, Sarina. Well done for moving the spotlight back on the real meaning of Christmas.