It’s Not Yet the End
I have a thing about taking pics of benches in beautiful settings, and Scotland graciously obliged with the most stunning scenery, such as this one overlooking the River Tay in Dunkeld, Perthshire. My husband was a little bemused with me snapping pics of every bench on our trip, until I explained what it was all about.
These benches, in these beautiful settings, give me a window into heaven. I can see myself, sitting with my dad, catching him up on all the things that have been happening since his time on Earth.
Though I think I won’t need to tell him. I think he’ll know.
I was about to write him a Father’s Day tribute on Facebook, but then saw my favourite movie quote under my profile photo –
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, then it is not the end.
And I was stopped dead in my tracks. It’s not alright. It’s mostly right but it can never be all right.
But then it’s not yet the end.
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, it is not the end.
Sonny Kapoor – The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
In the beginning I often felt guilty that I was enjoying this amazing life without him. It’s a huge dichotomy of life, to live with such pain and joy at the same time. But then I remembered he is living a more amazing life than me. And as I began to contemplate Heaven and Earth and Time I came to a new understanding.
I do believe that Heaven is outside of time and space and because of that, I’m simultaneously in Heaven and on Earth. In other words, I’m completely alright and not alright at the same time.
Some of you will understand what that means, others of you will think I’m not right at all 🙂
But that’s OK because I’m not out to impress anyone. I just want to honour a great father who was taken way too soon.
I saw a vision of him not long after he left this earth. He came to me in a dream and told me that he was happy and well and waiting for me. It was as if the veil between Heaven and Earth was pulled aside so that I could just catch a glimpse. I later discovered that my sister had had the same dream, at the same time. This vision lives deep in my heart, along with my other sacred memories. Every now and then I bring out a memory and this vision appears, giving me the strength and courage to remember. And to feel.
I don’t believe it was his spirit, he’s no longer on this Earth. It was a gift, which I still thank God for.
Just as I thank God for the gift of my father. He may have left this earth too soon, but in that time he was able to be the best father for four children. He left behind a powerful legacy in his example of what a man should be. It is because of him that I now have the best husband and father for my children. And it was because of his example of grace and forgiveness, even in his dying breath, that I am blessed with close and strong family relationships, which in turn has been a blessing to my children.
In Heaven there is a special seat by the water, he loved the water. I wait for the day that we can sit and talk again. There are so many things that I want to show him and tell him.
And what I wouldn’t give for one more hug.
But it’s not yet the end……
About the Author
SARINA ELDER
Sarina is a Writer with a passion for Making A Difference (MAD).
As a first generation Australian who struggled with cultural identity as a child, Sarina understands the importance of Being, Belonging, and Becoming as a fundamental need in all of us, regardless of age.
As a misunderstood Creative, who was diagnosed with ADHD in her adult years, Sarina is particularly passionate about supporting others to identify and release their Creative, or the Creative in their children, and to embrace the Neurodiversity that accompanies Creativity.
Sarina believes the best way to embrace ourselves is through laughter, and is open to sharing her own stories with the hope of encouraging others.
