My daughter is a singer, and from time to time she’ll be asked to perform at various community events. It was at one such event, where I was enjoying her singing and engaging in a spot of people watching at the same time, where I was reminded of what adults can learn from kids.
As I was watching, I picked up on a few bad habits that we as adults tend to fall into, myself included. The worst of these is that we’re all so rushed! So hurried! To the point that we are missing out on so much of life’s beauty.
Rushing Through Life
My daughter has an amazing voice. Yes I’m her mum but have a listen to this shameless plug of her featuring in a duet, and tell me I’m wrong. Yet as she was singing, hardly anyone stopped to listen. So many people just walked by in such a hurry. It reminded me of that famous social experiment where Joshua Bell played a 45 minute set for free in a busy subway, and only 7 people actually stopped to listen. Ironic, given that the night before he’d played to a sold out audience with ticket prices in excess of $100 each.
One thing I did notice though, and this happens every single time she performs in public, is the kids. Little kids, including toddlers, always stop to listen. Sometimes they’re very persistent, refusing to move forward until the song has finished and if they are lucky enough to have an attentive parent, the parent sits and watches with them. That’s always beautiful to see.
However, what I usually see, the norm, is quite sad. Especially because I’ve been guilty of it. It was highlighted to me when I witnessed a little interchange between a mother and her young son. The boy stopped and said, with great interest, Look mum, there’s another one. Mum responded with a distracted Huh? so he repeated his statement, this time a little more excitedly, pointing out my girl (in case mum couldn’t hear her either). Mum responded with another distracted, Come on, keep going! as she urged him to move forward.
Don’t get me wrong. My purpose here is not to judge her or any other parent. Perhaps she did genuinely have somewhere to be. But I suspect not. I suspect she’s just like me, always in a hurry, so much to do.
Noticing the Little Things
Watching the way the children respond to my daughter’s singing, reminds me of all the children that I have seen who want to stop and listen to the beautiful singing, the sound of the wind; or look at a tiny bug, a pretty flower, a dead leaf; feel the sand, the grass; smell the flowers, the sea breeze – all of the tiny beautiful details of life, only to be hurried on by their parents.
And I’m one of those parents.
It got me thinking about how much I miss. Normally I notice life’s beauty mid sentence. If you’ve ever had a conversation with me you’ll know what I mean. It goes something like this I’m just heading out to the shop to get some fish OH LOOK! A SQUIRREL! for dinner, is there anything else you’d like me to pick up while I’m there?
But watching the kids makes me a little envious. When they notice the details of life they don’t just notice it, they stop and study and observe every tiny detail.
And it’s in this Wondering that their minds grow, questions are asked, ideas are formed and Imagination runs wild. The time to wonder and imagine is a process that should never be hurried, because it’s in this place that Hope is formed. If we can’t Imagine, how can we imagine a better future? Or in other words, how to we find answers and solutions to life’s challenges?
At the very least, when we don’t have time to stop and notice the beauty in life, how much are we depriving ourselves of moments of Joy? I feel sad at that thought, but what really breaks my heart is how many times we do that to our kids.
Happiness Formula
In the movie ‘About Time’ (Spoiler alert – but it’s an old film so too bad 🙂 ) Tim has the ability to go back in time and relive any moment. Wouldn’t we all want that gift! But I digress….
Tim’s father leaves him with a two part formula for happiness. The first part was to get on with ordinary life, just like everyone else. The second part was to then go back and relive the same day, but with a difference. Whereas the first day was full of tensions, worries, and distractions, the second time around he was to take time to notice how sweet life could be. Eventually, Tim decided that he wanted to live every day like the second day.
We don’t have the gift of being able to go back and do it again, but we do have the gift of children. Perhaps, instead of expending so much energy trying to make them more like us ‘Responsible Adults’, it might do us good to learn a little more about life from them.
About the Author
SARINA ELDER
Sarina is a Writer with a passion for Making A Difference (MAD).
As a first generation Australian who struggled with cultural identity as a child, Sarina understands the importance of Being, Belonging, and Becoming as a fundamental need in all of us, regardless of age.
As a misunderstood Creative, who was diagnosed with ADHD in her adult years, Sarina is particularly passionate about supporting others to identify and release their Creative, or the Creative in their children, and to embrace the Neurodiversity that accompanies Creativity.
Sarina believes the best way to embrace ourselves is through laughter, and is open to sharing her own stories with the hope of encouraging others.